Porn

Pornography is so easily accessed online these days, whether stumbled on accidentally or deliberately searched for, it’s important to understand how it can affect you and your relationships.

Watching porn may be something that your friends enjoy, but you shouldn’t feel pressured into doing it too – not everyone does and you certainly don’t have to.

Often in porn, the lines between consent, pleasure and violence are blurred, and this can be damaging for young people and how they see themselves, their partners and sex. If you are going to watch porn, it’s very important to recognise that it is not real. Even though the actors are actually having sex in porn scenes, they are most definitely acting.

Everything you see and hear is scripted, usually to make it look and sound better than it actually feels. This means the sex they have looks really easy, because all the communication happens before the camera starts rolling, so they know exactly what to do and when.

In order for sex to be enjoyable, there needs to be trust, patience and communication. The most important thing to do is work out what you want (& don’t want) and let your partner know – porn is good at showing pleasurable sex, but not necessarily teaching you how to have it.

Remember - if you have sex it’s better to think more about what you actually want, rather than what you think you should have or what other people are doing.

There’s a huge amount of different kinds of sex on show in porn featuring a variety of actors with a range of body shapes and sizes, but it’s best not to compare yourself to them. Often porn portrays unrealistic body image and performance expectations with actors having little to no body and pubic hair, big boobs or bigger than average penises, they always wear makeup and are able to get aroused and ejaculate on demand.

Porn rarely shows safe sex, as condoms are not usually worn. Although the actors get regular HIV and STI checks, there is still a high amount of risk involved when protection is not used. Remember, safer is sexier! You shouldn’t feel pressured into having unprotected sex just because it’s what you’ve seen in porn. You also shouldn’t pressure your partner into having unprotected sex, or doing anything they don’t feel comfortable with.

  • Porn is not real
  • You don’t have to look like the actors you see in porn
  • You don’t have to engage in any sexual activity you are not comfortable with
  • Think about what you actually want from sex, don’t just copy what you see in porn
  • Your partner does not have to engage in any sexual activity they are not comfortable with
  • You should always check with your partner what they do and don’t want from sex, and never assume they will enjoy something you’ve seen in porn
  • Respect your partner
  • Use protection – Safer is sexier
  • Be patient

Here are some useful links: